There are only a few times in my life that I’ve prayed in earnest. Not counting prayers said before meals when I was instructed to bow my head and close my eyes. No, all I ever did was look around and wonder what was swimming around inside the other bowed heads.
As a child I would lie in bed at night and pray. Not that I was particularly religious, just raised into a sect of Christianity, as many are. I would pay attention. Less out of interest, more because there was nothing else to do. Hearing the pastor tell tall-tales of folks inconvenienced by God and praying for Him to take away the pain that He inflicted on them in the first place –
and He would.
I couldn’t help but wonder why my prayers were left to the wayside, if not ignored all together.
Not that I asked for much.
Only night time salutations to not wake up in the morning, for dreams to extend into an eternal slumber. Yet every morning, I’d wake up where I had left off.
And that’s how I eventually lost faith in religion.
But not God. Or the being, entity and/or state of consciousness that has been named God.
Not for the sake of my own comfort but
because it’s logical.
There’s no way that the human race is the pinnacle of Life, even if using everything else here on Earth as the standard, the basis for all things imaginable. There’s just no way!
Okay, perhaps there is a bit of comfort involved in this way of thinking.
Be that as it may, as I pray here now, I do not believe in God. I believe in Nothing.
Not a void of negative space, an empty nothing.
But something different entirely which has no form. Something that has existed long before there was ever a form or a concept for a living body was ever conceived. Try in earnest to reach such a plane of existence and external forces will make such a journey seem impossible.
But it can happen. Just bow your head…