About fastidiouslyme

*Achievements: 6-time dogfighting Champion of the World. 1st place winner of Power of the Pen 2003 - 8th Grade Division. Golden Globe nominee. Misanthrope. Coquettish entity composed entirely of energy. I soley exist on the internet. Neil Degrasse Tyson For President 2020 *only one of these accolades are accurate

Can’t Blame Nobody But U

A message to a jaded vain prick
doesn’t matter what I say because here’s what I predict:

you’ll refuse to read between the lines, throw out context &
just talk about the juicy byline & combine what was said
into the guidelines to fit the confines
of this paperthin narrative that’s been inscribed

because not getting attention is just not a graspable concept
for someone so desperately trying to be characterized

as a victim

everyone’s out to “get you” in this system
I’m quite sure this fits a symptom
but here’s the twist in this depiction:

No one gives a fuck about inconsequential fabrications
Be yourself, not a delusional imitation

you’ll probably even think this post is about you
don’t you?

i’m not trying to condescend but this comes down to common sense
the only way to transcend
is to get right within

 

via Daily Prompt: Ascend

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Come Bathe With Me

on this day, the Year of our Lord 2017, the 8th day of a month with no meaning

even after all this time here on this planet, I can still feel the deepdark sticky-icky clinging to my skin and mucking up my soul

truths untold. pure lies unfold.

unfolding on a tapestry made of the hair follicles falling from my head from stresses that need not to exist
i guess you could say i’m pissed

Anger, an emotion so powerful, it’s hard to resist
but to admit that such an emotion is necessary goes against every lesson i’ve been taught since birth

on days like this, i wish The Sun would shine, so bright it’d make me color blind
but the grey overcast skies offers little more than the hope that Our Lord will cry and rain down upon us, upon me

i’d stand in the downpour, wearing whatever fragments of cloth i happen to be wearing at the time, face up
the Holy Liquid dripping and flowing over my face, blinding me in a way-
not color blind
but leaving me, us, caught in time
human eyes closed, 3rd eye open, seeing things beyond…

ah but alas. on this day, i see no calmness from The Sun nor The Water

only grey.

in times like this, it is unfair to expect Mother Nature to give us everything needed at any given moment. She is busy, extremely overworked; and if recent events plaguing the U.S. and the rest of the world is any indication, she’s fed up and tired.

can’t say i blame her.

its time that i, we, make our own Holy Liquid to purify that deepdark sticky-icky
that affects us all, whether or not you’re aware of it

like a stranger in moscow, i’m still trying. trying to figure out how to break this curse mankind has created for itself. Mother Nature may have the answers, but we, mortals, don’t stand a chance of what’s to come.

UNLESS

we find our own way of purification. somehow i, We, have to get Mother Nature to trust us again.
but how….?

if i could i would give you the answers
but all i can do
is just offer you
this chance

to come bathe with me

Daily prompt:     Crescendo

Climb Abored

an anchor, 7 stories high & twice the tons

passengers without tickets shuffle up the stairs uninvited

i’ve got many guns. time to play Russian Roulette

oh you think i don’t? then what’s this?

.       .       .

everyone’s quiet now.

BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM

shooting blanks. everyone’s delighted.

most of them clapping their hands, enjoying the spectacle, gay as can be

it’s all a circus

& then a man as tall as a hundred year old tree

walks up to me

& says: “perhaps you should relax. you gave me and some others quite a fright”

poor fools. they don’t even know the caliber of plight afoot

i toss the the useless weapons overboard. they clang against a wooden platform down below & are picked up by a group of rowdy teenagers, whom hoot & holler and run off into an alley with their new toys

we’re still at shore.

i sigh a heavy sigh. i wasn’t looking for death, just something more

for i know…

i find my cabin lodgings easily, at the very top of the ship

leaving the other passengers to do as they please

folding my hoodie into the drawer, kicking my shoes off under the bed

accepting the via blasé of what’s to come

for i know…

an anchor, 7 stories high & twice the tons

we aren’t going anywhere
not anymore

The Performer

Hi, nice to see you. I’m doing quite well thanks for asking. And yourself? Well that is simply fascinating, you should save that story for dinner parties! ‘Kay I’m gonna go now bye. Be sure to tip the bartender for me.

one facade to the next, not even thinking to rest

Thank you so much for calling this hotline of underpaid workers to help you with something or whatever, this is The Performer, how can I help you? Shove these papers up my ass, you say? Well, it wasn’t really in job description but hell, half the crap I do around here isn’t in there either, so why not? Clocking out, see ya tomorrow.

The cell phone lights up.

Before another fresh coat of paint is plastered by an invisible makeup team on to match the appropriate human emotion expected in whatever situation The Performer finds themselves in

there’s a notion of despair
about how many layers can be caked on
before the foundation implodes?

Yes, I love you too.

and what face would be underneath?

maybe something to closer thine higher self

Oh save me Buddha !
Jesus!
Krishna!
Leviathan!

*phone static*

a choir sings from above:

**”Come to me

Ravish me

I’ll liberate your mind”

Hmm…

Oh Great Whatever you are, how much more proof do I need to show before you believe I’m ready?

In this human kind, this condition, the mind can handle so many questions at once
to find a tailormade suit that fits only them

caught in the limbo

with a daunting glance, The Performer has no chance
to ponder about what could possibly free them from

Another coat, another color

The clock moves on, matter of fact

so on to the next Act





**reworded song lyrics from “Anna Stesia” by Prince

Nevermore

if I don’t think about the fact that I’m in solitary
pretend to not see hellfire in the skies
ignore the accusations of heresy

Nevermore

to say otherwise would be blasphemy
‘cuz this is the best day of my life

if i ignore that i feel half as free as before

flipping through several volumes of dictionaries in desperation
to find a way to define the deep down dark icky leaking & splashing about inside
blurring the world upsidedown, spinning the wrong way ’round
feels like a bad case indigestion at the very least.

Nevermore

for i declare

THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE

Behind the 4th Wall: The Psych’o’Desk requests assistance

some of you may know me personally, most of you know me through my posts on here and on Soundcloud and that never ceases to amaze me. I don’t often to do posts like this and I’ve been holding off on creating one for as long as I possibly can but can no longer.

A little background. Due to various mental & physical disabilities, I am completely unable to sustain a “normal” job.

No, it’s not laziness or apathy (ok maybe a hint of apathy but nonetheless), I can not work a traditional job.

Literally every time I leave the house I run the risk of having a debilitating seizure wherever I am, no matter what I’m doing. And thanks to doctors & their infinite wisdom, I’m no closer to figuring out what causes them than I did when I had my first seizure in the fourth grade.

It’s been making my life hell. I even had a pretty bad one earlier this week but refused to go to the hospital b/c I knew it’d only result in a hospital bill I can’t afford.

I’m starting college classes again at the end of August & since I’ll (hopefully) have all of my financial aid paperwork processed in time, it should be smooth sailing.

Except the refund for THAT, won’t hit my bank account the middle of September.

So here we are at the end of June and I have a grand total of ~$50 until the middle of September. I have medications to pay for. I have to eat. Everything you can think of that makes life possible, I need.

which is the hard part of this post.

I wouldn’t be asking for donations unless it was an absolute necessary.
here is the link to my paypal:

fastidiouslyme PayPal

I ask you now
if you are able to donate, even if it’s just one dollar, please share what you can. share the link. spread the word.

I want to do something special for anyone who donates (perhaps a poem or a song, specifically for those who have helped out.)

And if you can’t donate monetarily, please feel free to check out my other hundreds of posts on this site. seeing views on my posts does a lot for my self-esteem and helps in its own way.

Thank you very much.