Assumed Straight Until Proven Guilty

It’s the Year Of Our Lord 2015 and….

Actually, before I start I’d like to preface the previous statement with, I don’t know why that matters. As if an arbitrary number pulled out of our bottoms to define a moment in Time that we can’t possibly comprehend and varies depending on which culture’s calendars you look at that are off by thousands of years from each other. We know we’re Here on Earth. But none of us really know When we are.

So we know the Who, it’s us and the others; We understand the Where; The How differs, again, from person to person but we have a basic understanding of that too, I’d say. The What, When, and Why is still very much uncertain.

So when only 2.5/6ths of our equation is figured out, it’s only natural that discrepancies & errors arise as we come to reach a Solution to the equation. What that Solution is varies upon whom you ask. Not that it matters because we don’t have all of the factors yet and nothing makes sense. Which brings me back to my original point.

It’s the Year Of Our Lord 2015 and “Coming Out” is still a thing. At the moment of this writing and when you’re reading this, seated serious conversations are taking place all around the world. One person with bated breath and nervous fingers fiddling with themselves and the other party watching them, hoping the person doesn’t open up about something that shatters their own imagined image of the person and they are forced to realize how liberal they actually are.

Whether you’re coming out as a sexual deviant, gender variant, unemployed, mentally unfit, physically ineffectual etc…basically; anything that the hairy half-dead gluttonous crinkled white male Overlords stuffed in starched suits in dark seedy rooms filled with thick cigar smoke and brown skinned servants decided were undesirable and imprinted that onto the public.

For someone who has never Come Out may not realize is that you never Come Out once and that’s that. It never stops. Every new person met is someone who has to learn The Thing about you that isn’t immediately obvious on sight, and even then, probably still has to be explained because most people are completely clueless about lifestyles that they don’t live personally. And let’s face it, maybe 80% of the relationships the average person holds is fleeting at most and won’t dig deeper than the fact that the two of you share the same favorite color. So screw it. Which is how someone can be in the closet and Out at the same time.

In The Year of Our Lord 2015, certain folks look at two men holding hands the way they would if Barney the Dino popped a squat on their yard and mashed it into the grass with his tail. A woman’s nude pictures taken in private that are leaked are far more coveted than a voluntary nude photo shoot. And speaking of nudity, the fact that nudity as a word is still a word that has even relevance!(?)

Puzzling. Being is simply bewildering and the fact that humans are still walking around on this planet puzzles me and is nothing short of a miracle. Divine intervention. Dumb luck. Both seem equally likely.

Perhaps it’s because we can’t even agree on When the hell we are that we haven’t really even come close to a general consensus on What is or is not socially acceptable.

Or perhaps it’s because human beings, as a species, shouldn’t have a formal society at all.

Onward! Prance Away From Here

My shadowy silhouette must have stood out against the purple skies as I sat crosslegged in a heavy silence on top of a tall hill made from unfamiliar terrain. I say heavy silence for while I could hear nothing in particular, my mind had trouble comprehending such stillness and conjured phantom fallacies that whispered amaroidal nothings into my ear, humid breath brushing against my earlobe and sending frigid shivers down to my tailbone.

And in that moment I realized. Even on an alien planet, my human nature followed.

I stood up and peered into a powerful old dusty telescope that was already here when I arrived, perhaps left behind by a previous traveler. A familiar blue-green planet was in sight. I zoomed in as far as the telescope allowed.

And I could see Me, sitting at a bench at the park. Hunched over, one hand supporting my drooping head; and the other hand tapping away on a cell phone writing this post.