Fill In The Blanks

don’t ask me any questions
i have answers
but they won’t fit

don’t ask me how i know
i just do
as luck would have it

don’t make me have to explain
you’ll regret asking
i guarantee it

don’t worry about it too much
i know that’s a strong request
but you’ve got admit

It’s Overdue

‘Tis Only Up From Here

I was recently on my way from Point A to Point J of the day and the most unremarkable thing happened.

A strong gust of wind knocked my flimsy umbrella skyward, it’s wiry insides on full display like the talons of a large airborne dinosaur long since thought extinct. The sudden force of nature jilted me off of what ever track my train of thought was on. The rain falling on my face, muted sounds of whizzing-by traffic, and the firm embrace of crackled concrete sidewalk hugged my spine.

A twelve legged insect with a smarmy disposition skittered up to me, dodging the raindrops with ease as if it were controlling the weather itself, and whispered in my ear:

“Lovely day for it, eh?  Take care, brethren! ‘Tis only up from here!”

Its breath was heavy with the musk of many nights of one-too-many a long island iced-tea that mixed with the pungent humidity in the air like a funky ass perfume.

Yes, Overly-Jolly Drunken Insect. It’s always a lovely day for It.

Especially at this current junction. Here in the Year of our Lord, TwoThousandNineteen. A Year like all others that will come later and Years that have been left behind.

Right now & right then. A lovely day for it.

I left the useless bundle of wires on the ground and wiped the mud off my behind and looked down. The insect had disappeared as quickly as it had appeared, indistinguishable from the hundreds of other indiscernible dots littered across the pavement.

How is it that a most innocuous creature could conjure words so seemingly insignificant yet words spoken to me nonetheless. Words that may very well plant seeds that’ll sprout out facetious vines of subterfuge but nonetheless.
Words spoken to me.

I eventually made it to Point J, then X, and other Points not yet discovered in the human alphabet. It was an odd, yet thoroughly unremarkable, moment of that day.

A Day like all others that will come later and Days that have been left behind.

A lovely day for it, indeed!

P.S. Who the hell still says brethren?

Letter from The Jadism Desk

As the 107th negative thought aimed inward suckerpunched my brain & pushed me down the waterslide of despair for possibly the 17th time in the past 24 hours, it dawned on me that if it were someone else’s words instead of my own, I didn’t know if I’d slap them in the face or sit at the side of the pool, drenched in despondency without even thinking of grabbing a towel.

It didn’t always used to be this way. The normalcy of self-degradation has become so common that I no longer pity myself. Gone are the days of whining and neurosis. “Woe is me” and all that jazz.

Let’s call this current phase “The Case of the PhuckIt”.

As in, This self-degradation will eventually & inevitably lead to my self-destruction and I’ll greet that moment with a toast and clap on the back, like it’s an old friend returning from war. So PhuckIt. Cheers, bitches!

To say that carrying that school of thought day in & day out, every damn day, is exhausting is about as obvious as saying that it’ll be a little windy outside when a F5 tornado touches the ground. But PhuckIt! Just board up the windows and stay out of sight, right?

Right…

Thing is, a tornado hasn’t touched down where I live in the entirety of my life. And I’m quite certain that a nest of insects have taken residence in the windowsills of my mind, hidden behind the wooden boards I’ve nailed up. Even now, I can hear their wings buzzing constantly and the thumping of their stupid heads bashing against the glass. It’s annoying.

I want do something about It but I didn’t have the common sense to get a crowbar beforehand.

Hmm…. what to do? I don’t really know yet.

In the meantime I do declare, in this Year of Our Lord 2018, that I’m so over being ailed with “The Case of the PhuckIt”.

Because fuck that.

Editor’s Note: “The Psycho’Desk” has been renamed as the “The Jadism Desk”

a vow of silence

words mean nothing
when talking to The Void

The Void

barely listening
and only screaming in reply

decades of attempts have shown you why

you shouldn’t even try

and yet, you still keep

talking to The Void

and wondering why

you’re left frustrated & annoyed
with someone fluent in an alien tongue

someone who listens to what you say
but can only scream in reply

so why even try

when words mean nothing?

insomnia.werks

I created a celestial rock EP/mixtape.

I first got the idea months ago. Insomnia runs in my family & i was blessed enough to get it as well.

I spend many, many nights wide awake. With far more energy than is entirely necessary for a time when the rest of the world is asleep. Instead of wasting time until I was tired enough to eventually fall asleep, I decided to do something constructive with that time.

Introducing insomnia.werks.

Every single sound you hear on these songs were performed & produced by Me.

I hope you enjoy.

1. VY

2. Narcissis

3. Josephine: The Blue Allen

4. Purrty

5. Saturn Salutation

A Disturbance In The Force

The last drop of The Witch’s Brew passes between the lips

it takes control of the hips & makes the body dip on an unworthy stick

if only there was a way to forget

Wait a minute. Something’s wrong.

I’ve already taken the last sip.

The cauldron is empty.

now what?

I’ve got a bad, bad feeling…that this has happened before.

I put the key in the door but it was already unlocked from the disturbance from the time b4.

Therefore

I go to The Witch to get another batch.

She groans in a gravely hum

“Surely you haven’t finished the last order already? What could you possibly need it for? You’ve only just hatched.”

I walked away without a reply. No sense in applying a layer of logic on top of the illogical. It’s like spraying a bottle of pungent perfume over body odor.

It’d only highlight what was meant to be erased.

what now?

Posting a blog post, I suppose.

well. I may as well go back over yonder.

bc I know if the only thing The Witch will loan me right now is an itch

I know good & well

someone else (or something)

will give me what I need.

A Reading: Declaration of The Hill Dwellers

source post: Declaration Of The Hill Dwellers

You dare look me in the eye & say
the aged intensity of punk rock doesn’t smolder in my soul
That I don’t carry the torch of my fallen punk ancestors
Laid to rest by the 9 to 5
Spikes combed forward, ‘hawks brushed to the far left
lookin’ no good, no bueño
flown off to nowhere special.
Memories fade. Scribblings remain.

How Dare
You spit in my eye
as I walk down the aisle to claim the prize
The most damned prize so rightfully mine
of everlasting life & peace of mind
No price is right when the price hanging over my head, es
no good no bueño
Measured in wealth with no real value,
Chop it up thrice & serve it chilled sided with grilled
chopped heads of men & mice

How Dare
You poke me in the eye with sharp edges
from a bill you figured your generation would
have paid in full by now
Shoot daggers in my back, my shoulders buckle
under the weight of the price on my head
But behold this truth!
That the price is not mine! The price is not right!
It’s No Good, No Bueño!

That’s why I
Dare to fly northward &
onward & on & on
Gone that way, pulling the reverse switch
past 1992, past time
past the time of the No Good
Of whatever remains past the No Bueño
past the punk
rocking out with no one special

Memories fade. Scribblings remain.

Site Update/A Jaded Community Pool

How is everyone? Anyone still read this site? Ok, good. Here’s what I’ve thinking about lately.

I recently realized that I’ve had this blog for several years now. The rules of Time are something I respect but don’t follow at all.

It doesn’t even feel that long ago. I remember the night I signed up on WordPress. I didn’t have a plan & I can’t rightly say that I do now.

With that said, I’ve grown a lot since I started this blog; emotionally, spiritually, and more. My life is in a different direction & it only makes sense that the things I share on this blog reflect that. I never want to force content & I’ve realized I’ve been having difficulty with creating.

So. I have a lot of ideas swimming around in my head & too much planning is causing them to drown and make me feel over-hydrated. I don’t where shore is exactly but I’m picking a direction and going that way, full speed ahead.

Here is the space for any feedback you’d like to share/or any questions you’d like to ask about my work & this blog. Whether positive or negative. Whether you’ve been following me for a while or you’re just tuning in.

I want to hear from you. I only ask you be constructive & courteous.